JJ Jankauskas
Hometown:
Bellevue, WA
Statement:
The Why & The Because Another bright sun is rising. The dawn of a new journal, Birthed out of the tireless nagging at my heels,I feel when I am lonely; without paper and pen.My journal is possessed with magic & mystery.It owns my pen, Whose strokes are drawn in unconscious frenzy,At the blank of a page, Never knowing what letters will appear after the last traced. I love the feeling of the pen in my strong hand,The steady scraping sound of tip against rough virgin paper. This rhythm I habitually fall into, Like slipping on my most favorite pair of old shoes. It is a spell,Transfixed by feelings,Tossing and turning in my head,Like clothes in a dryer.The fresh ink wet,Yearning to dry.Able to take shapeClothing the pages with their true form.And so I write,Out of addiction to the steady rhythm.Like craving my favorite song,The same song again and again.Something in the beat tickles a familiar part of my soul, Which cannot be reached by anything else.Hysteria, this feeling.Pen screaming out thoughts,Chasing words rattling around,In my mind.A desire so intense to write faster,Faster and faster, I fall behind.The race to which I know,Has no finish line.Every writer knows there is no end to words.This insane mania to write,Propels us through life.Handcuffs us to,Blank pages of journals,Backsides of postcards, Napkins,And anything, Anything,We can spill our thoughts onto.For the thoughts keep spewing,At a steady rate,The gush never, Ever slowing down.If we do not write,We cannot speak.We are paralyzed by the current of thoughts,Bottled-up,Stacking-up,Pushing harder and harder,To break the dam,To get out.If a writer cannot write,They have one of two fates:Either they explode and go mad,Kicking and screaming,Ranting and raving,At the world buzzing around them.Or the other;They implode and fall still.Deflating their physical stature,Shriveling their voice,Until they can no longer speak.Silence surrounds them,They play spectator,To the world around..Like pen and paper,I marry fate and destiny.And this, this is why I write.So I can live, love and be free. And so I write.
Background:
Letters and words are my obsession.
I love stand-up comedy.
I hate to be scared.
I love linguistical gymnastics.
I love philosophy.
I love pondering the questions without definitive answers.
I am a seeker.
I am recovering "addict"... my addiction: eating disorder.
I am tall.
I am an alpha woman.
I used to model and will never do it again, unless I can model for www.neda.org.
I mentor junior high kids.
I do not like labels.
I believe in Karma.
I believe my spirit chose this package, this lifetime, for a reason.
I have a dream to have a bright sunshine flooded, plant filled, with macaroni art on the fridge, screen doors slamming, dogs barking, cats under foot, kids screaming (screams of glee of course), music blaring, warm home someday with a big garden out back...
I want to be a foster parent.
I want to publish works of inspiration.
I want to help others with eating disorders and addictions recover.
I want to help families divorcing with preteens, do it gently and healthy.
I want to live with a pure heart.
I want to live free, from my own personal demons.
I want Microsoft to keep paying me the big bucks so I can do this until a publisher picks me up. ;-)
Upcoming:
None yet!!
Other:
You're welcome to add me as a friend: www.myspace.com/jennille but, if you're private, I may deny you... sorry!
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